I’m extremely happy and proud that I went down a pant size! I haven’t been this size since senior year in high school! I feel truly accomplished and what a wonderful feeling that is! I can’t believe I cried lol I’ve been trying so hard for the past two years, then finally all the sacrifices and hard work are actually starting to pay off. I can’t wait to shed more pounds, to go down more pant sizes, and to ultimately feel better about myself! It doesn’t matter that it’s not happening instantly. The fact that its HAPPENING is sufficient enough for me :))))))
As a lot of you know, Ive been reevaluating who my “reals” are. I have my handful of people who I know, without a doubt, will be there til the very end. But lemme tell you, it isn’t very many. Though, Im finally starting to accept it! I don’t need hellla acquaintances. I’d rather have my small group of best friends because it’s quality over quantity. Of course, it would be nice to have more people there for me. In high school, I felt so lucky to be able to say, “I have hellllla best friends.” Now more than half of them are gone. It’s no one’s fault though; life just happened. People change and friendships deteriorate. Im grown enough to admit some friendships died because of me. I decided to choose a group of friends who I labeled as “my bests”, but now I realize I chose the wrong group. Im over the hype and Im on a whole different level. Im striving for the future while they’re still stuck. I tried helping, but theres only so much one can do. They’re always gonna be good company though, but good company doesn’t last forever.
Then theres those friendships which I attempt to rekindle. That’s a lot harder said than done because it requires so much energy and time from both parties. But Ive come to realize those individuals stepped out of my life for a reason. They say they changed for the better and blah blah blah but sorry, I definitely disagree. These people were perfect just the way they were and it was the person they were before that made me fall inlove with them. I understand change is inevitable because people are bound to grow up, but some have grown to be the type of people I’d rather not surround myself with: distasteful and ignorant. But it’s fine, like I always say, do you while I do me. I just finally accepted that if people don’t want to be in my life, then get the steppin’.
Lying is the one thing I dont tolerate. I’d respect people so much more if they just kept it real with me.
I really do feel bad for some females. The ones that are stuck on the high school hype and result to fighting over something hella little. They’re incapable of acting like a lady because they’re stuck in that “girl” phase. They’re too busy tryna make this reputation of themselves as a “bad girl” but ultimately make themselves look psycho, ignorant, and immature. I find it even more hilarious when they wanna be so defensive over their boyfriends. I respect it when females want to fight for what they love and all that jazz, but wanting to fight someone because she innocently said hi to your boyfriend?! Stop being so insecure and accept the fact the guys can have female friends too. Another thing that’s funny is how they boast about how they’re living the life because all they do is party every night and making “hella money” as a sales associate. Don’t feel bad for me because the majority of my time is devoted to studying. Let’s see who’s “living the life” ten years from now, while I swim in my hundred thousands of dollars and you continue to hop from store to store as a sales associate. Please don’t depend on your physical attributes to bring you far in life either because it can only last for so long. Hate to break it to yall, but most of you aren’t pretty enough to make money off of your looks anyways. And I’m not saying this because I think otherwise of myself because I definitely know I’m not. That’s why I rely on something solid like education. Only thing that’ll definitely bring you far in life. And please don’t take me the wrong way. I definitely don’t think I have my life set. But I do think I’m a lot better off than these “bad girls”. But whatevs, go ahead and do you while I do me. Just thought I’d vent about how I feel about these type of females. And even though I have no positive feelings toward yall whatsoever, I genuinely hope you find a better lifestyle. You’re not only representing yourself but for the women of our generation. Why not represent ourselves as classy, intellectual ladies rather than the opposite? I’m just sayinnn.
This year, I participated in Relay For Life, a 24-hour walk-a-thon which funds for cancer research. Honestly, I initially signed up because it was something I can add onto my dental application under volunteering, but after last night, the reason definitely changed. They had prepared a luminaria presentation in dedication to ones who passed away from cancer. There was a slideshow, performances, and a story told by a man who graduated Davis last year and recently found out he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. All around the track was paper bags with the names of the loved ones who passed away and it was eye opening to see how many people are affected by cancer in some way or another. I am very grateful to be able to say cancer hasnt directly affected my life yet (*knock on wood), but to see all these people cry because they’ve lost a parent, a sibling, a relative, or a friend to this thing called cancer; it definitely touched my heart. Lemme tell you, I was crying like a little baby last night! It made me realize that Im actually doing this for a legitimate, selfless reason. I am participating to help be a step closer to living in a cancer-free world.
Persistence and determination never fail on me. I put it in so much work for the past year. There were days where I felt the urge to give up, that maybe this wasnt worth all the bullshit I had to endure. But I believed and convinced myself that this is the only path I want to take. I cant picture myself going anywhere else. I didnt want it, I needed it. That itself was enough for me to feed on. And Im so happy that you feel the same exact way. I appreciate all second chances life offers me. Bestbelieve I wont mess this one up. I thought you knew?! It’s forever and a day baby.